What really matters

It had been a few weeks that I have been getting others' help to get into my appartment building. I had lost / misplaced my key and access card. I cleaned my room completely and it was nowhere to be found.

After several frustrating waits spanning over weeks, I decided to ask the management for a new key but when I asked for the access card I learnt that it was 50$ . I could have paid the money any got it but I wanted to check the house again before I paid so much for the access card.

It took another frustrating wait and difficulty getting into my apprtment before I complained to God. I told Him, that He should not be making me pay extra 50$ and that I used a keychain which was shaped like a cross and the word Jesus. I continuted to express my frustration saying that the whole intent of having that keychain was to not have any trouble becuase of it. Yet this happened. So that means Lord I need not pay attention to such materialistic forms of prayer anymore.

A day or two later I looked while packing for a trip I had taken out my stuff from the bed side basket. At the bottom I saw a cross shaped as the word Jesus. :) :) :)

Now I can get into my appartment safely.

It does not mean that materialistic worship is important. It only means God is an accessible God and manifests Himself through the ways that we perceive Him. This explains the difference between faith and law. The law will show us the right path but through faith there is custom instructions for each individual.
It means that, what matters most is that we have faith!

It also means that God is listening to my most meaningless and unreasonable rants. :) I love you Jesus.

Living happily ever after

Sad times arrived . I was so sure of my calculations, but something went utterly wrong. Left me confused.

My calculations cannot go wrong. What is the path I should take now? Should I strive to make my calculations right? Or should I start on a new book, a new page?

How am I going to live the rest of my life? How am I going to make up for the losses. Where will I get the strength and resources to start over? (Am being very generic here, ha ha ha.. ) I wrote my heart out and tried to think it through.. trying to construct a new path from the rubble... it sis going to be so hard..

I opened my blog to write stuff.. pour out my thoughts.. saw my blog title and the description.. Life of Bue - Living happily ever after....

I realized (as and when I am typing this).. I have been living my happily ever after, since the time I realized that I am living for Christ.

How does one define, happily ever after? No one can be happy all the time, even if they wanted to. Happily every after is when you live with your loved ones. You know they are going to be there for you and you are going to be there for them.

I know Christ is with me. Not till the end of the world but till the end of time (or any other dimension that can surpass time).

I am 24.. At this rate by the time I am 40 I m going to be so much stronger, wiser, awesomer!!!

Because He lives

Random thoughts from my head that helped me get through a hard day like today...

Because He lives I can face tomorrow
Because He lives all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
Life is worth the living just because He lives

Just because He loves us

I went to church today and prayed for people. As for myself I prayed for righteouness, joy and peace in the Holy Spirit. That's the kingdom of God.

I am going to sing in this Church from next week wearing the cool robe. God is good to me.. Oh what love I see.

I painted grape vines on my stool today. For You are the vine and I am your branch Lord.

I am a lump of clay... you are the Potter. Mold me and make me.
Let whatever I am going through teach me the right things.
Refiner's fire my heart's one desire is to be Holy and set apart for You Lord.

Though my plans failed. Though the fig tree may not blossom nor fruit be on the vines. Though the labor of the olive may fail and the fields yield no fruit. Though the flock be cut off from the heard yet I will rejoice and I will joy in the God of my salvation.

I m hurting so much but Hod let the living waters flow on
Sweep away my pain
Bring Your healing to my heart

The Lord in near to the broken hearted. Lord if you are by my side right now. Touch me and heal me with your power.

Lord did you say "your faith has made you well! ?"

Praise the Lord.

Amen.

Let love explode

From the song  God's not Dead by Newsboys (Good song, awesome lyrics!):

Let love explode
and bring the dead to life
.
.
.
God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside

1 John 4:12 says
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

There are people who inspire me. Who I respect and love. But people die everyday. People dont just die at the end of their lives. They die everyday... when they change. We tend to say, that someone we love, even when they die, are still alive in our hearts. When people inspire us we continue to believe in what they believed in and carryforward their mission even though they are no more.

Jesus died nearly 2000 years ago but His love and His teachings were such a powerful inspiration for people that Jesus continued to live in them who loved Him (Jesus loves everyone but not everyone love Him in return) Those whose lives he touched were filled with hope and love. He taught them how to love. More people got inspired by them. Now after so many years I stand in awe of what Jesus taught.

Glad to know that I am blessed, for Jesus told Thomas in John 20:29
Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Jesus if the people you made can be so kind then how kind must you be.  Wish I had met the real you 2000 years ago. Must have been soooooo awesome.

Ok.. I am probably doing a poor job in keeping Him alive in my life. But I will not let the spark fade, but will light a million lanterns with this tiny spark. I will change, die, and be born again only to love and if I fail I will learn from my failures until I succeed.

"A love so bold to bring a revolution somehow" - Newsboys song continued!

Jesus continues to mend broken hearts, touch lives, heal, feed and support so many life's till today. The revolution began 2000 years ago but never quenched. Thanks to the Holy Spirit. I also am a part of this revolution. If any of you can help me I am willing to accept your help and learn from you how to be kind and how to spread love. I know I am not alone in this :)

P.S: I am probably real slow in realising this whole concept. Hahaha anyway now I get it :D

BFF

Today I feel loved!
For a long time I have wondered what this saying during mass really meant;
'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord'

When I was younger I simply learnt it by heart. In recent years I have wordered if the saying was referring to only Jesus or to anyone who comes saying that they are sent by God.

In a version of the Bible it said that unless one confesses 'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord' he /she will not enter heaven.

I asked few days ago during mass. Lord explain to me what this prayer means.
Today as I lay in bed listening to prayer songs I felt I should stop listening and read the Bible. So I acknowledged that thought and told God .. "So you wish yo tell me something? What is it God? " I opened the Bible and just continued from where the daily verse started. As I read further down the chapter was the following:
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that   kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have   gathered   your children together   as a hen gathers her brood   under her wings, and   you were not willing!  See, your house is left to you desolate.  For I tell you, you will not see me again, until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”

Then I understood that it was talking about anyone who went in God's name must be called blessed, for example, the prophets.

It was in recent times that God sent me to someone to deliver His message but they did not take it. I realised that God considers everyone prescious and he needs people to convey his message to others. He asks "Whom shall I send?"  I reply "Here I am Lord! " #wadupsongreference

God cleared my doubt and also gave me a practical lesson on what it means. I am glad to know that I am blessed when I spread God's word :)

I feel loved and I feel heard. God is looking over me and responding to me. People sometimes take a long time to reply to your messages, right? But not God. The conversations never end as a prayer always has a response when I keep myself open to what God has to say. God you are my best friend. Let's rock. #thumbsup

P.S: I have never told anyone openly that they are my best friend. This is the first time ;)

Take Control

I did it again.
Watered and nourished the seedling of darkness instead of the seeds of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Doing the same things that hurt you again and again.

I look at you like a child that ate candy that it is not supposed to. Always hoping you will overlook my flaws and love me.

This time I know how grave my sins are. And soon the seeds sown in me by the Spirit will die. Do something Lord. Water my seeds.

Discipline me, Father. Teach me what is right. Give me a whacking so I stop messing up my life.  Train me in your ways.

Take control !!

P.S. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,  goodness,  faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

Wash Me

Lord why are there days that look like you are not by my side
But I know you are right here

Dont walk away from me please!
Who can I turn to?
Lord, do you hate my ways?
Am I a shame to you?
Lord, you have given me evrything that I have ever asked for
and I have done nothing good in return.
You presented me a beautiful white gown and a necklace with clear white pearls.
Now I am ashamed to show myself.
Like adam and eve I hide behind the bushes.
I am stained with all my wrong doings.
I lost the pearls you gifted me.
Through my acts of selfishness. I am an epitome of lazines.
Wish I had used the talents that you gave me, better
I went and burried it under unwanted things
and now even what I had is taken away from me
you did not bring this sadness upon me
It is my own doing

Lord is this just a test or are you really gonna leave me form now?
Have you given up one me?
But I know you are right here.
In this empty room that I sit you are sitting right next to me
Seeing me cry, if you had hands you would wipe my tears away
If you willed, you can cleanse me and I shall be whiter than snow. [Psalm 51]

Lord I know that today will pass
my sadness will pass
years of my life will pass
but Your words will never pass away
So I will listen to Your words
and wait until all things pass away
and rest in You.

P.S : No P.S :D.. hahaha I shouldn't be laughing.. shhhh..

Who dosen't have a broken heart?

Sleepless nights.
Heartache.
Loneliness.
Anxiety.
Void.
Choking.
Tears.

We experience all this.
With so many questions in our head.

What do I seek?
What is our need?
Can the world ever satisfy us?
Does anybody care?
Well the future be any less painful?

Yet we make others' lives hard. Everyone is bearing a burden of their own. Most of the times it's hidden beneath a warm smile. Those of us strong enough to carry our own burden must help others carry theirs.  For we are all fighting the same thing, worldly obsessions.

It's the common struggle, of being affected emotionally. No one escapes the gallons of a breaking heart. Not I....

Nor God. He has a broken heart. He owns several scars left by people who claimed to love Him yet gave up on Him so easily.
He gave His everything and gave it all up and put His hope in humanity only to know how selfish people can be. He saw the narrow mindedness of men who went away from Him. He went as low as he could to bring them back. The ego of man blinded him from reality. By closing his door to God, he lost everything that added meaning to his life, lost the only one who cared the most about him. In darkness he lived and then realised that his meaning is with God. But it was too late. ... Yiiikesss who am I to talk on behalf of God. It's never too late to patch your relationship with God. :) :)

We all wish God would accept us no matter what we do and continue to break and tear His heart apart each day. God loves us and loves us unconditionally but there may be a time God can do nothing but reject us forever if we fail to see how great He is and How deep His love is for us.

Are you broken hearted? How much more can you take?
Are we breaking God's heart ? How much more can He take? 

Help one another and help your self . 'Love God and Love your nighbour as yourself'

It's not easy to love. I hope am not making it harder for God to love me :)

PS: I will celebrate Valentines day to celebrate God's love for me :) He will never break my heart. And thats a poster in my room !!

To be Loved

Last night I was very sad and became very emotional about life. Why is there no one to care for me ?
Like all people I was stupid enough to feel that way even though I had a lot of people around me who cared very much about me.

But there I was crying all night wondering why things are not the way I want it to be.
Scrolling through Facebook sharing emotional thoughts, I came across an Image of Christ beaten as in the Passion and lying on the cross with the words 'I LOVE YOU'.

I replied to that in thought 'Yes Lord I know that You love me, but I want to be loved on earth'
Today was a normal day having a fun time with friends and family.
Tonight I received an email about my College Assistantship and it was just perfectly as I would hav liked it. In fact it was not that way before. Something happened and it had be updated to the current form. Well I was happy.

It was completely unexpected. Then I felt that it was God's doing. I had tears in my eyes, those of happiness, for He had shown me that He really cares and how real His love is.

"There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning" -Bible Verse

I am loved :) :) :)