Who dosen't have a broken heart?

Sleepless nights.
Heartache.
Loneliness.
Anxiety.
Void.
Choking.
Tears.

We experience all this.
With so many questions in our head.

What do I seek?
What is our need?
Can the world ever satisfy us?
Does anybody care?
Well the future be any less painful?

Yet we make others' lives hard. Everyone is bearing a burden of their own. Most of the times it's hidden beneath a warm smile. Those of us strong enough to carry our own burden must help others carry theirs.  For we are all fighting the same thing, worldly obsessions.

It's the common struggle, of being affected emotionally. No one escapes the gallons of a breaking heart. Not I....

Nor God. He has a broken heart. He owns several scars left by people who claimed to love Him yet gave up on Him so easily.
He gave His everything and gave it all up and put His hope in humanity only to know how selfish people can be. He saw the narrow mindedness of men who went away from Him. He went as low as he could to bring them back. The ego of man blinded him from reality. By closing his door to God, he lost everything that added meaning to his life, lost the only one who cared the most about him. In darkness he lived and then realised that his meaning is with God. But it was too late. ... Yiiikesss who am I to talk on behalf of God. It's never too late to patch your relationship with God. :) :)

We all wish God would accept us no matter what we do and continue to break and tear His heart apart each day. God loves us and loves us unconditionally but there may be a time God can do nothing but reject us forever if we fail to see how great He is and How deep His love is for us.

Are you broken hearted? How much more can you take?
Are we breaking God's heart ? How much more can He take? 

Help one another and help your self . 'Love God and Love your nighbour as yourself'

It's not easy to love. I hope am not making it harder for God to love me :)

PS: I will celebrate Valentines day to celebrate God's love for me :) He will never break my heart. And thats a poster in my room !!

To be Loved

Last night I was very sad and became very emotional about life. Why is there no one to care for me ?
Like all people I was stupid enough to feel that way even though I had a lot of people around me who cared very much about me.

But there I was crying all night wondering why things are not the way I want it to be.
Scrolling through Facebook sharing emotional thoughts, I came across an Image of Christ beaten as in the Passion and lying on the cross with the words 'I LOVE YOU'.

I replied to that in thought 'Yes Lord I know that You love me, but I want to be loved on earth'
Today was a normal day having a fun time with friends and family.
Tonight I received an email about my College Assistantship and it was just perfectly as I would hav liked it. In fact it was not that way before. Something happened and it had be updated to the current form. Well I was happy.

It was completely unexpected. Then I felt that it was God's doing. I had tears in my eyes, those of happiness, for He had shown me that He really cares and how real His love is.

"There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning" -Bible Verse

I am loved :) :) :)

Jesus Christ has come into town !!

Come on Bue!! It's Christmas and you are feeling so low ?? Nooooo this is not happening!! Uh uhnnn!

(Sing it)

You better watch out
You better not cry
Bue you better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town.... partey partey !!!

He's making a list.. eeee
And checking it twice
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice - oh yeah you bad people of the world!
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good .. oopsy
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry :D
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

Bue!! Take the next verse...

"Oh Jesus is born
Into my life
I better not pout
I tell myself why
Cos Jesus Christ has come into town !!"

Meerrrrrrry Christmas!! :* :* :* :* :*

PS. Hurray I'm posting on Chriatmas. I feel awesome !!!! No more pouts !!! 

A Train Journey

I was standing in a railway Station. An enormous train was approaching it. I wanted to board it and see where it takes me.

It stopped.

I got in and the journey began. I had a very comfortable seat.  The view outside was so beautiful cherry blossoms on either sides of the railroad.

I requested its services and was a little discontent with what the train management offered. I complained. The management concluded that they will stop providing those services.

I decided to get off the next station. I got off but thought tonmyself that I should be content with what I've got so I got on it before it started to leave.

Now I had a less comfortable seat and the management was unable to grant my requests for a first class seating.

Now the journey seemed more important to me than my comfort so I decided to sit tight and enjoy the beautiful b ore outside the window. Cities and lots of busy people I enjoyed all the new things that I had seen and was very content.

Then I saw the engine when the tracks curved still majestic and steadfast. I looked beyond it and saw where it was headed. I could almost see it that magical place carved on the horizon.

For some reason I knew not I was asked to give up my seat. I was now standing but nothing mattered for I only dreamt of the destination the train was taking me.

I was standing by the door feeling the wind against me. I felt so alive and wonderful. When suddenly I felt a push. I tried hard to hang on. With all my energy I held to the sides. "I'm almost there I can't let go now", I told myself. I continued to stand there. Another push and holding firmly I turned back and saw that the management of the train was trying to push me out. I didn't know why. I held my guard and never let go.

The train was moving at a great speed. But I had no choice for I knew now that it was not my destination. I let go of my grip and they pushed me out.

I closed my eyes and prayed. I felt warm hands catch me embrace me and place me on the ground. I opened my eyes shocked that I was still alive and did not feel any pain. Not even a scratch.

It was a miracle, I has to be. When I let go, I knew I would never have come through this alive, by here I stood firm on the ground as the train whistles past me in great speed. The dust and stones that flew with it hurt my eyes.

I cried. I did not know if I should grieve over being thrown out or be glad that I survived.

I felt the power of the Most High. I knew He was the one who secured me and saved me from the pain and agony that the fall would have brought me.

I looked ahead of the train and beyond thw trees and plainsnI.could still.see the sestination. I decided to walk toward it.

PS: I like train journeys and love to have a window seat and feel the wind blow against my face. Its such a fun thing. But one should see the way my brother and I fight over a window seat.

Putting myself to sleep

I can never have nothing to write about. 

With pleasant music playing in Pandora.
Lights off. Cozy in my bed. The fluorescent cross in my room is glowing! Another night trying to fall asleep.
I feel so peaceful nothing is in my mind (I'm convincing myself that it is so). Well I have an exam tomorrow but am done studying (by the grace of God who helped me make fruitfull use of time).
I'm working in Japan's time zone for some reason. So I'm trying hard to fall asleep in regular time.

Life is beautiful. Christmas is in the air and in my house. The semester is about to end. Peaceful thoughts.. inner peace...
I guess this post is just me putting myself to sleep :D its still fun.

Going home for Christmas. After a long time it's gonna be a usual Christmas. Nothing to grieve about and the family together.
Mue is comming over next semester. :) I ll not be alone while writing my blog posts then.
I'm just about to wish my close friend V a splendid married life.

I gave mue a list of food items I have to cover during my trip home this winter. My favourite "oily eggplant" :D

This post is probably best named as a thoughts before going to sleep. One of my thought which I wanna talk about is..
God has been so good to me. He knows what I need and what I don't. He always gives me more than I deserve. I am genuinely amazed at the way he takes care of me. He is also such a comfort when I am alone.
Noooow this is starting to take shape and make sense :D

Lovely night. The starts are shining somewhere outside the window am sure though I can't see. The snow that started melting during the day starting to freeze into solid ice.  I have a full stomach of yummy food which my room mate S cooked :)

I think I'm gonna fall asleep now.

Thank you Lord.

P.S.: My other roommate taught me this technique of thinking peaceful thoughts to fall asleep. Looks like it will wOrk. If it dosent she ain't gonna have peaceful thoughts for a while ;) :D

Fruitful

I cannot believe that my previous blog was about laziness too... grin.

Not many days ago I was laying in my bed (as I have been doing a lot lately) watching useless stuff and very apparently wasting time but feeling so guilty at the same time. I'm not making any use of the very precious time given to me by God.

Not many days before that day I read a portion of the book called 'In praise of slowness' which educated me about 'time-sickness' which is the fear that time is fleating and 'karachi' meaning death by overwork. The remedy was to slow down. I who was not at all time-sick, should not have paid heed to such an article. I nevertheless did and did not do my work. Messed up one of my assignments .I don't regret that very much as I should. Luckily it was only worth a few points.

My posts seldom talked about something I messed up. But this one will end with a sad note that I did not still succeed in overcoming laziness and continue to be a slave of worldly comforts such a sleep and rest.

Rest is very much needed but what is a restful body with a restless mind and soul.

This week in the small group meeting we happened to discuss the parable of the Vine and the branches. How the branches that are not fruitful are being chopped off and burned by the vinedresser. I don't want to be not fruitful.

Ok let me look at it in another way, what if I kept working and do not waste any time. Am I called fruitful then? It's important that I spend time doing the right things. As a branch if I try to take root into the ground I will not be fruitful, for lack of sunlight will cause wilt in turn. I will try to be a good active girl from on , find the right things to do, and rest well.. not just my body but my mind and soul too and be fruitful. I would greatly depend on your prayers for this!

This post is long already,I ll probably have more posts about laziness. Hopefully it should be about how I conquered it !!!! Muhuhahahahahaha...
P.S.: Wouldn't you agree that writing a blog is a fruitful thing to do? Yay!
Also !!!! Don't you smell Christmas in the air? !!!!!!

Laziness overtakes

It's 11:00pm and Today calls for a blog.

I woke up in time for church had all the time in the world to get ready (1.5 hours was just the right amount of time considering I wash my hair on Sunday’s). But I lay on the bed snoozing my alarm every 10 mins for an entire one hour and just lying lazily, not even sleeping. Think of how wonderful it is to lazy around.

I went in time for mass a little under dressed than I normally would, thanks to my laziness. I will wash my hair tomorrow J .. I will :D

I came back from church by 11:30, Skyped with my parents as I ate, then decided to chill for a while and slept off for another two hours.

I know these things are normal, then I woke up at 4pm and wanted a snack, ate then I had to start my work on the Term Paper (Initial Problem Statement) as today is the deadline, yes today 11:59 pm. So what am I doing blogging? More on that later.

Finally arrived the time to PANIC!!! Laziness and PANIC most certainly go hand in hand.

Also thinking of this makes me PANIC more. "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands, and poverty will come upon you like a vagabond." - Proverbs 6:10 

So I prayed that God should help me complete the work on time. I knew it would take a lot of time, I was planning to use my ‘One-Time No-Reason Skipping of Deadline’ for today’s submission.

Then I sat and worked, relaxed, listening to a new playlist on YouTube that I discovered. Music doesn’t distracted me when I work. Neither does my friends chatting or even the sound of the building falling apart :P

Today morning I was complaining to my cousin that I didn’t feel like studying, but now I was rather enjoying the work, reading journal papers and excited to learn new things.I finished and submitted the work by 10pm and had my dinner, I have plenty of time left in this day, here I am blogging J

God helped, I am sure J ! I am going to now rest in peace (not “RIP”) and look forward to His helping hand in the coming week in my work and in overcoming laziness. Tennis class 8am tomorrow :’( Also I am typing my blog lying on the bed, bad news for back bone :( Am almost done, will fix this next time.

PS: Here is the link to the playlist I was talking about, it has most of the songs that are sung in my Church!! http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL323D9781654AF975